Being told you’re not a man, your immature, you’re a P.O.S., you’re a child adds up and creates even more insecurities. I am so aware of my forgetfulness, that I get anxiety about having squirt org forgotten something. I go through the motions but don’t realize what motions I am going through and forget what has been done. I know it sounds crazy but that is what happens in my head.
Social Anxiety and Overstimulation
Robyn Aaron, a 36-year-old mother of two who was diagnosed with A.D.H.D. last year, said she and her husband now have a weekly meeting to stay organized, but they try to make it as fun as possible. Why can’t everyone just want to live in an orderly, clean world? Why is spontaneity so important when you can guarantee having a great time wherever you go because you planned it?
I tried some of these tactics and found they not only help me cope with some of the ASD distance feelings but allows me to let her know I really love her and respect her situation. With social media today, men can scroll through their feeds and popular pages to view more beautiful women in one sitting than most men would see in their lifetime a hundred years ago. One would think that making romantic connections would be easier than ever in our digital world, but the opposite is true.
And using drugs or alcohol to escape from those feelings is very effective. And, finally, the aforementioned parent/child dynamic. This, obviously, does not lend itself to a healthy sex life. Another is that the person with ADHD has that itch they want to scratch and multiple sex partners is a way to do it. Once they have caught you they could move onto the next person. I have learned that many people are unaware of the devastating impact ADHD can have on relationships.
Sympathy in itself…will do nothing but perpetuate it and will do nothing to really help. Just another band aid and a means to not heal which is exactly what you need to do…heal. What do you do when someone you love doesn’t want help? Doesn’t want to see the damage that they are causing? NO ONE navigates this life challenge in a split second. And someone who has should know to have a little bit of patience and compassion and not act like THEY have been through it and KNOW EXACTLY what to do…..JEESH!
Use his interests to start a conversation
Bless her soul, she did do the right thing on that part. So after 8 months or so into this passionate relationship, the phone calls became less, the text messages, the weekends together etc.. I struggled with the fact that his love for me was diminishing. I then became angry at him for this and started aggressively belting out rude comments and texts at him. Which only began to shut him down from me.
This is especially difficult if your partner has never been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, or neither of you even realize it might be a factor in your relationship. It can help to destigmatize the condition, Roberts says. He suggests you can do this by presenting the benefits of therapy to your partner. Maybe you even know someone with ADHD who can speak to your partner and be an additional source of support. Rather than criticizing your partner for their behavior, it will be more beneficial to explain how that behavior makes you feel. Rather than verbally attacking them for not listening to you, for example, you could explain that when they are on their phone, it feels as though they aren’t fully engaged in what you’re saying.
I might not have written down every single detail in my posting, but I definitely saw some symptoms of ADD in his behaviors over the 6 months I do know him. I didn’t make a fuss about this, since I knew and felt that he didn’t do it intentionally, or with something bad in mind. In general I really believe that he is a good man, it’s just hard for me to get the difference if when he is acting because of his disorder, or if it’s because of something else.
I want to share with you what I have learned. And then this week I was doing some research on ADHD for a client and it hit me — my man could very well have ADHD! The behaviors that resulted from the disease made staying with him very difficult for me. And I am sure those same behaviors make living life very difficult for him.
In turn…it’s what I have been struggling with in my wife as well. It comes from the low self esteem and insecurity which is tied to the very things that are being discussed in this very thread. You wonder why there aren’t more people with ADHD here…..this is it I can tell you.
Create verbal cues with your partner to interrupt arguments before they get out of control. My husband and I agreed to use “aardvark” at times when I notice he is agitated, but seems unaware of it. This odd word means “stop talking, and take some time to calm down.” It has worked well for us. Two of the biggest dangers of ADHD on the job are getting along with others and having behavior problems.
Relationship with someone who has ADHD
If not then ultimatum time for him – either get treated and commit seriously to treatment or you leave. Don’t stay just because you don’t want to admit failure – we all have failures, they’re almost always humiliating at the time, but time will help. You’re running the risk of focussing on a closed door and not seeing the other doors that life may open for you.
The good thing about the relationship is that the 95% of the time that the relationship is good, it is wonderful. Fun, energetic, enthusiastic, intense, loving and respectful. The 5% of the hard times are really, really, really, really hard. If you can figure out how to get through the bad times and either make progress or just get through them, the relationship will be the best you’ve ever had. But the 5% is the worst time you have ever had.
Reading the above posts about men who beat their wives/GFs etc is sickening to me. I know from being the recepient that only cowards seek to injure those who are weaker than them. Also, I just want to lay out that I had 1 brief brush with the law for something stupid at 18. I have no criminal record from that incident or any contacts with LE after that. I do not drink, nor use subtances other than what is prescribed to me. I DO struggle w cigarettes however and have quit and started again numerous times despite being a highly active, competitive athlete even today.